Hey kids! My name's Paul Abernathy. I'm what you'd call a criminal: a lowdown, greedy, mildly sociopathic sonofabitch.

My main business is with banks, everything from your classic old West kinda heist, to the high-tech overly complicated vault-rape.

I had always wanted to be a train robber, but after a rather gruesome attempt at that I realized there was very little money to be had in that sort of business.

I figure that while I'm here I'll recruit some goons (preferably competent, but math-challenged individuals) to help me with some escapades, and I'll look for some of that good ol' internet loot.

So if you're interested or have information about possible prospects, do leave a comment my way.

And please, for the love of god, do not call me by my last name. I really don't want to have to shoot you; it would be a shame to waste the bullets.